True love is hard to find


Looking for love? Well, you can find it anywhere you look if you know what love is.

Many people think that they know what love is, but most don’t even have a clue!

What love is not
A demonstration of love is not always a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, a three-day Carnival Cruise, payment of a cell phone bill or a new pair of red-bottom shoes.

Nor is a twerk show and lap dance at your favorite strip club, a Colin Kaepernick football jersey or a new pair of classic Air Jordans!

Loving someone is not putting that man or woman on “house arrest,” waiting until they go to sleep and going through their phone, checking their social media inbox, or frying them chicken anytime you think they want some greasy food!

All about happiness
When you love someone, it is not about doing things you think they like, want or need. Giving someone money, sex, time or anything else will not make them love you if they don’t love you.

When you love someone, you do everything you can to make them happy. Sometimes that includes letting him or her go!
A romantic chain is not so much different than a chain-gang chain. A house should be a home, not a cellblock! 
Lust is not love. Physical attraction is not love. 

You will know
You don’t have to wonder or guess when a man or woman loves you. When someone loves you, they live to make you happy.

They accept you, they appreciate you, they help you, they listen to you, they communicate with you, they value your opinion, they protect you, they do their best to provide for you, they acknowledge and claim you, they motivate you, they inspire you. They do their best to please and satisfy you and they make you smile!

I could go on, but hopefully you got the message.

Know when to run
When someone says, “If you love me, you’ll do what I tell you to do,” you should turn into The Flash and run away as fast as you can!

When a woman or a man loves you, you don’t have to tell them what to do. They will volunteer to do what they know will make you happy.  

If they like surprises, you will make the most imaginative, creative and unexpected moments and memories happen when your loved one least expects it.

You don’t have to be married to honor vows. If your loved one is sick, you take care of them. If they are short on cash, you step up financially. If they need a little time for themselves, some quiet time or some relationship space, you give it to them.

Love and criticism
You can criticize the person you love, but you have to do it constructively. You can disagree with the one you love, but you don’t have to be disagreeable. You can check your man or woman, call them out or even confront them. But you should do it in a calm, non-abusive and non-violent manner.

Even though love is in the air, love flows and grows, and “Love can make you do right and come home early” like in the song Al Green recorded, true love is hard to find!

However, if you are smart, if you are observant and if your feelings and emotions are intact, you will recognize true love when that love is for you!

Brothers and sisters, you can’t pimp everybody! You might have the clothes, the car, the bankroll or even the conversation. But the person that loves you wants none of that!

The person that loves you knows if they make you happy, chances are they will find happiness too!

Others can tell
Love doesn’t hurt. Believe that!

When someone loves you, your friends and coworkers can see your “glow.” Your homies can see a smile every time you hear your loved one’s name or hear his or her voice.

If you’re looking for love, I hope you find it! It’s even better if true love finds you!

Buy Gantt’s latest book, “Beast Too: Dead Man Writing,” on and from bookstores everywhere. “Like” The Gantt Report page on Facebook. Contact Lucius at



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